The learning continues

So I experienced one of the funniest events of my life. A 60-70 year old white male judge told me how to make a blunt. lol. It wasn't so much the fact that he knew what one was or the fact that he knew how to make one that was funny. It was his description of how to make one that was "enlightening." Pun totally intended.

He proceeded to explain that the skillful "blunt master" makes an incision into a perfectly good cigar. He then carefully undresses the cigar wrapping. Once that is done, the blunt master takes out all of that wonderfully good tobacco and just throws it in the trash. Then he stuffs the wrapper with marijuana. Once he does that, the blunt master carefully rewraps the blunt. Then he licks it (And he demonstrated the licking of the imaginary blunt. Full tongue out and all.) and smokes it with a ripple.

Pure comedy. This summer just keeps getting better and better. What will I learn next?

I am learning w-a-a-a-a-ay-y-y-y-y too much!!

I have titled this Blog "I am learning way too much!!" for a reason. I have been interning this summer in the District Attorney's office. While I hoped that this experience would teach me a lot about the law and the actual "practice" of the law, I was in no way shape or form prepared for my current learning experience.

I learned my first piece of information from a defense attorney. He brings me a file and tell me to dismiss the case. Since I get this all the time as the "intern," I stupidly asked for the reason for this current dismissal. The defense attorney says (with a straight face mind you) that "a blow job is not prostitution." Thinking he was joking I asked again why I am supposed to dismiss this charge. He repeats that a blow job is not prostitution even if you pay for one.

So needless to say I had to look it up on Lexis Nexis. And guess what people? A blow job is not prostitution in the state of North Carolina according to the State vs. Richardson (1983). In this case, the courts basically said that if the legislature intended for fellacio, cunnilingus, etc to be considered prostitution it would have been enumerated in the statute.

Well, while it is not prostitution (a misdemeanor) a blow job is a crime against nature (a felony). lol. I am sure there are plenty of men around who would beg to differ. More tomorrow.

Therapy or Comedy

I don't know if this is therapy or comedy. This week alone I have received several phone calls from ex boyfriends. The first was from an ex that I had not heard from in over three years. He proceeds to tell me that essentially "the grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence."

The next call came from a dude that I can't even call an ex because we didn't even get together. He thought my feelings should have been crushed because things did work out with me. Ummm......why is it that I didn't even know he was trying?

This was followed by a call from a guy that my oldest friend and her husband both tried to set me up with. This was the most comical. Two years ago they tried to set us up on a date. He stood me up for his on again/off again girlfriend at that time. They later tried again and this time he told them that I was trying to act like his wife. News to me because I only spoke to him for that one day. Yet now he was asking if he could come to my place. HAHAHAHAHA Not!!!!

Last but not least, my most recent ex keeps calling me asking for me to come over. WTF?? Umm you broke up with me but you want me to come over.

So here comes the therapy or comedy part. First, it was satisfying to know that they realized after the fact that I was a good girlfriend. It was EXTRA satisfying to tell them NO NO and Hell to the Niggaaddyyyy Naw. LOL. It was comedy how they all seemed to think that by telling me what I already knew it would get them back into my good graces. It was also comedy to hear them all repeat almost word for word the fact that the grass isn't greener on the other side. So gentlemen of the world here is my pearl of wisdom for the day:

THE GRASS IS NOT GREENER ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FENCE.
THE MAN WHO LIVES ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FENCE IS JUST PUTTING IN MORE WORK THAN YOU.
IF YOU WOULD PUT IN THE WORK YOUR GRASS WOULD BE JUST AS GREEN. (MAYBE EVEN GREENER.)
AND THE "GRASS" (YOUR GIRL) WILL APPRECIATE YOU FOR IT. Appreciation has its perks.

Why????

Ok so I have been reading my friends' blogs for the past two weeks and I have decided to join the fray. This site will feature random-ness that I have no other outlet to discuss. It will also probably include stuff that I have talked to death with my other friends but haven't resolved in my soul.

For example, today I went to my internship for a general meet and greet before we begin. We were in the courtroom in Wake County. When we walked in a defendant was being spoken to very kindly by the judge about how he was very proud of the recent choices she had made. It was not until she was called forward to sign a piece of paper that I realized what the woman had on. 80 degrees outside she came to court in a pair of booty blue jeans. She had the nerve to have a chain linked belt dangling from her waist sideways. Now I thought she had on a simple short sleeved black top until she turned around and the front was split open with a bra covering. Basically her boobs were hanging out. I absolutely could not believe my eyes. What in the world? I wanted to slap whichever one of her friends told her it was ok to wear that to court.

Back to the H!@# that is studying for my Con Law exam!!! In the words of the Smallville them song, "SOMEBODY SAVE ME!!!!!"